Feeling the push and pull of conscious vs unconscious being today. A really intriguing and necessary observation to be truly present with, to stay awake long enough to make the right decision into the next moment. There are days when the unconscious seems to wrap me up as if a warm blanket, yet more accurately like a fog. To numb myself into inaction appeals to some aspect of me who seeks eternal sleep.
“When we so fear the dark that we demand light around the clock, there can be only one result: artificial light that is glaring and graceless and, beyond its borders, a darkness that grows ever more terrifying as we try to hold it off. Split off from each other, neither darkness nor light is fit for human habitation. The moment we say “yes” to both of them and join their paradoxical dance, the two conspire to make us healthy and whole.” (Taken from the article linked below, Parker J. Palmer, “Autumn: A Season of Paradox”).
To eternally stay in one moment… I thought of the prospects of such an idea this morning, cuddled up with my love, feeling safe, peaceful; the overflow of gratitude left me with the desire to keep this moment forever, on replay and to never experience another thing again. Of course, there is nothing about this longing that is realistic. The ability to appreciate those moments wouldn’t be nearly as desirable if it were not for the other moments in which life throws. Or worthwhile, without the dynamic nature of growth and learning. Becoming. Obstacles that are merely the passageways to the next beautiful sight or sound. Anyway, if we laid around like that all the time I would find myself uncomfortably out of shape and my mind a gooey pile of blah.
Ain’t nobody got time for that. I need the turmoil to sharpen my mental blades, to light the fire to my cauldron and provide me with the ingredients for the next delicious adventure into unknown territory. There is knowledge and wisdom at the end of those dark caverns and I intend to discover them.
As autumn turns her beautiful leaves, changes abound in my professional life. Fear tells me this might be a rocky situation. My understanding into the ways of the universe tells me otherwise. The aspect of me influenced by some reality I don’t actually adhere to is the voice of doubt, persistent although faint. My excitement into the unknown speaks much louder, la que sabe, the aspect of self who has seen the path and knows of its juicy potential.
Anyhow, I wanted to share this article I came upon from onbeing.org. The website and its podcasts are like this golden light of truth and awesomeness I’ve been sprinkling into my daily mix. Its got the social, spiritual and philosophical makings of a super soul satisfying concoction. GO there. Explore. A Season of Paradox.
This piece here, Parker J. Palmer’s “Autumn: A Season of Paradox,” was well timed. Well, actually I’m pretty sure anytime is a good time to reflect on paradoxes. I mean, paradox is to life what the peanut butter and jelly is to a PB&J… Without it you just have plain ol’ white bread and there’s nothing exciting going on there (if you’re not into PB&J, you can substitute honey or something into this metaphor…). Autumn does offer though a beautiful picture of paradox. I thoroughly enjoy the works of Palmer, from his thoughts on education and leadership to his beautiful insights such as these into life’s processes. Dancing amongst life’s paradoxes is probably my favorite mental movement, though its sway can sometimes be a bit unnerving. So… read it. Get your paradoxical nerd on. If you want to delve into a convo on paradoxes go ahead throw some at me. This stuff is my jam.